NPJ: /private/9702/

8:09 am - Test gaycafe@ibm.net

NPJ Tuesday, 25th 8:10a

8:16 am - Test2 nathan@npj.com

NPJ, Tuesday, 25th 8:16a

8:40 am - IBM.NET E-mail broke 8:40a

Morning,

I notice that IBM.NET is still having problems with their incoming mail servers, so I'm unable to read mail that has been sent to me in the past 12 hours.

I'm on my way up to the computer room now. On the cell phone, Thanks,

Nathan

3:23 pm - NPJ.COM e-mail problem

I don't think that my e-mail problem has to do with ibm.net -- as I've sent myself test messages there directly, which have arrived in a matter of seconds.

It would seem that e-mail to npj.com is being lost some where.

I've removed the .forward file on the nathan home directory on Apollo, so I'll see if I can get a message to end up there.

This started around 7 or 8 last night (I say that because it's about the time of my last e-mail message, and I know that it is almost impossible for me to go over 18 hours without receiving a single e-mail message), so I'm wondering if it isn't related to the Hermes IP re-creation issue that John was mentioning? ... =) ?

Nathan

3:23 pm - Merchant Success

I've successfully received, set-up, and tested the new merchant account on my laptop. The only card that I cannot accept at the moment is AMEX.

I would like to meet up with John at the computer room again around 6ish to make the changes to the ICVerify box myself (there is data that I'd like to back-up).

I'll spend some time working with Ann to remove "International Cafe" from everything and replace it with updated text as appropriate. We can close the current batch with the old merchant account, and switch to this new one tonight.

I want to say thank you to Aaron and Ann for being at the computer room this morning, and I'm happy with the "stablization" of ICVerify ... at least as time goes by, we're getting smarter about how to keep that thing up. I've sent an e-mail to Eric at ICVerify, asking him about a Digital UNIX version of the software.

Nathan

3:29 pm - Test to apollo nathan@npj.com

NPJ, Tuesday 3:30p

3:43 pm - Did you get it?

Hi Kim,

Did you get the postcard that I sent you from Germany? =) I finally returned from all of my traveling, and wanted to check in with you.

I still have the box with the router and CSU/DSU here ... could you have Randy contact me and tell me where to send them back to?

Also, I've paid the $17.50 (for shipping the box with the router and such to me) that was outstanding on my account (as there were about three overdue notices on it when I returned.) What do I need to do to get the $5,000 set-up fee that I paid released? I've checked up at the computer room in Boulder, and I understand that there has been nothing installed since our coversations just before I left for Europe in mid December.

Thank you,

Nathan Johansen
International Cafe, Inc.

p.s. I sent the other Gianni Versace card that I originally purchased to someone else, but while I was in Los Angeles three weeks ago, I found the "official" book of thirty cards for $7.00 ... if you'd like a better one, please let me know and I'll see if there is a match. Gotta love those postcards. =)

3:47 pm - ICVerify for Digital UNIX?

Hi Eric,

This is Nathan Johansen, and I just wanted to ask if there has been any progress on a version of ICVerify for Digital UNIX?

If it is possible to port the code to that platform, or if you guys need a spot to develop it, I'd be happy to set-up an account on one of our DEC Alpha Servers for you all to use. It would be a huge headache reliever if we could do away with this Win95 mess connected to the UNIX servers via PathWorks -- the thing is so unstable.

Anyway, hope you're doing well, and thank you for all the help that afternoon with my year 2000 expiration dates (which by the way still get rejected *shrug* perhaps I should get the "latest" version of the software?)

Take care,

Nathan Johansen

4:42 pm - Re: pasword

At 06:21 PM 2/20/97 UT, you wrote:
>Ich wolte nur wissen wie ich ein pasword für das foto magazin bekomme ??

If it is possible, please re-send your message in English. :) Thank you,

Nathan Johansen

4:43 pm - Re: Registration Error

At 08:44 PM 2/25/97 +0100, you wrote:
>There was an error message referring to the credit card authorization.
>The code was 117238. What is the problem?

The error has been corrected. Please re-visit the site and try again. :)

Nathan Johansen
The Cafe and Villa Guy

4:43 pm - Re: subscription

At 11:38 AM 2/24/97 -0600, you wrote:
>I'm trying to subscribe to the gay cafe, but it keeps popping up with a
>credit card error in the processing procedure. I've double checked, and
>my information is correct (and I have not exceeded the limit on the
>card!). Any suggestions?
>Brent

Hi Brent,

The error has been corrected. Please re-visit the site and try again. :)

Nathan Johansen
The Cafe and Villa Guy

4:43 pm - Re: babe

At 05:54 PM 2/24/97 -0500, you wrote:
>-Just wanted to say you're a babe!!-

Thank you, =)

Nathan

4:43 pm - Re:

At 01:58 PM 2/24/97 -0800, you wrote:
>Two processing errors for credit cards

The error has been corrected. Please re-visit the site and try again. :)

Nathan Johansen
The Cafe and Villa Guy

4:43 pm - Re: about your offer

At 03:23 PM 2/24/97 -0800, you wrote:
>Dear Nathan:
>
>I bet you thought I had forgotten about you. I haven't. Instead, I've
>been thinking about your offer, visited your site a few times, and, of
>course, engaged in some procrastination. Your offer is rather intriguing
>and before I say "thanks, but no thanks," I'd like some more correspondence
>on the whole subject. You strike me, from what little I can gather from
>your website, to be an astute businessman, and I would be foolish not to
>establish some sort of rapport with you. It is not often I meet (and
>please, don't take offense at this) 21-year-old men who have your obvious
>drive to succeed and, apparently the resources to do it. Those DEC Alpha
>machines don't come cheaply, after all.
>
>Having said all this, I am not inclined to leave Creative.net for the very
>reasons you hint at in the way you operate. For over a year Creative.net
>charged me no fees to maintain a site. This just changed recently, but the
>fees are still below market rates. The owner explains he views what I do
>to be a "community service." Am I totally satisfied with what they offer
>me: no. Am I dissatisfied enough to jump ship: no. For me to leave
>Creative.net would require an offer that would be, well, irresistible.
>
>The site has been a hobby for little over a year. Just recently (February
>3 to be exact), however, I left my paying job to see if I couldn't turn
>this into a minor profit center for myself. It is not my desire to turn
>this into something big (at least not while I am in charge). I want it to
>be just big enough to support my needs. In the long-term, my intentions,
>to be frank, are the following: make the site very popular and reasonably
>cost effective so that an outside source who sees even greater potential
>can come in and buy it from me.
>
>Many of the things you suggest in your e-mail are already in the works. I
>am interviewing consultants right now to design and implement a database
>for many areas of the site. I'm not entirely convinced that a gigantic
>database is the best way to go, but many people tell me I am wrong. I try
>hard to listen to my users and they often give excellent advice. Online
>chat and a conference board will be introduced in about 2 weeks. Plus, and
>maybe more importantly, I am now able to devote the time to keep materials
>up-to-date. And, equally valuable, I am now in the position to have the
>time to promote my site.
>
>I expect significant growth in the coming months. I have looked far and
>wide to see if anybody else out there is offering the type of service I
>provide on the web and I have yet to find anything comparable. Even the
>folks at Damron are using a database that simply is a rehashing of the
>print edition of their Address Book, rather than offering something that is
>more timely.
>
>I do hope you will engage me in some further discussion. My phone number
>is 510-###-####, but I prefer e-mail myself when one can't meet
>face-to-face.
>
>Bye for now,
>
>Keith Griffith

Hi Keith,

Thank you for taking the time to author such a thorough reply. :) I understand where you're at, and want you to know that I support your decisions. If there is ever anything that I can do to help you with your site, please let me know. I've been interested in providing a kind of archival service to some sites, so if you'd perhaps be interested in that, let me know (kind of like providing a mirror site for your information, and keeping back records of things that may change or be updated over time, so that users can always poke around at things that have come and gone.)

Perhaps the next time I'm in California (somewhat frequently, actually) I'll take a day to come to San Francisco and introduce myself in person. :) Take care, and good luck.

Nathan Johansen

4:43 pm - Re: you poem

At 10:36 AM 2/25/97 -0500, you wrote:
>would like to see more of your work write me--

Hi Warren,

What is it that you're interested in? Perhaps you could visit one of my letters at my personal web site:

http://www.npj.com/

Nathan Johansen

4:43 pm - Re: thumbnails

At 02:38 PM 2/24/97 +0000, you wrote:
>Nate,
>
>Everything's converted and ready to upload. 388 full-size images, with
>the corresponding thumbnails (and yes, the ".jpg" suffix is in
>lower-case).
>
>Let me know what server and directory to upload them to, since the old
>e-mail with all that info seems to be another one of those things that
>didn't survive the hard-drive trauma.
>
>jeff

Heya Sweets,

Sounds terrific. You can telnet to gaycafe.com and login as me. I'll see if I can get you your own account on the server, but mine should be okay for now. (I trust you! Really!) :)

Please put the photos into an appropriate area in:

/wwwdocs/foerster/photos/

And making sub-dirs that are the first four characters of the photos ... or if you want to get really structured, you can put the HOMOH stuff in wwwdocs/homoh/photos (which doesn't exist, so you'll have to create the dir) and/or wwwdocs/adam/photos (ditto) for the ADAM magazine photos.

Please let me know what went where. :)

Thank you ever so much for that. The old merchant account dies today, but I just finished testing the new one, which should be in place later this afternoon. Some $17K now ... ick. How is our "little" black Java Bean?

Take care,

Nathan

4:43 pm - Re: Leather Homoerotica of the Christian Right

At 06:20 PM 2/25/97 -0500, you wrote:
>Herewith, courtesy of the Washington Post, is the latest in jerk-off material
>for the closeted leather set of the Christian Right.
>
>Enjoy!

It's blank, try again. :p

NPJ

4:53 pm - Re: Your personal ad for "Wpolo"

At 09:33 AM 2/24/97 -0800, you wrote:
>Nathan...
>
>You've been snowed like many others, and it's not your fault. Shawn has
>got some serious psychological problems -- namely the fact that he can't
>deal with his looks, nor his sexuality -- so he maintains a fantasy world
>by lying to everyone on the computer, and will only give up the lie when he
>has been cornered.
>
>I talked to Shawn for months and months on the phone (after talking to him
>online)... Obviously he peeked my interest because of his stunning good
>looks, etc... In any case, he always provided a reason that he could not
>meet me -- namely: He had a girlfriend, and was in a fraternity, and
>couldn't be seen with anyone who was known by anyone to be gay.
>
>So we maintained a phone friendship for a while. Anyhow, he found out
>where I lived by looking me up in the student directory (in which he,
>himself was not listed). Similarly, I began to look for him on campus. A
>couple of times, I thought I saw him (and even called out his name), but
>there was no response. He eventually told me what kind of car he drove and
>what apartment complex he lived in. I went there and looked in garage and
>saw his car. And a Alpha Tau Omega sticker in his rear window -- thus I
>found out what fraternaty he was in.
>
>I sat outside his apartment a couple of times to see if he would show up,
>to no benefit.
>
>One day on campus, I saw him... followed him to his fraternity, and then
>quickly went home and called him up. I expected his answering machine, but
>he answered. There was NO WAY he could have gotten home that quickly. I
>told him that I thought he was lying to me, and insisted that if he
>wouldn't meet me, that he must provide me with some proof that he was who
>he said he was. So he came by later that day and hung a bag on my front
>gate containing a photograph of himself (keep in mind... when I say "of
>himself", it's really of one of his friends). I was satisfied after
>receiving his photo that it really was him.
>
>It was around this time that I with some reservation introduced him to the
>world of local BBS's -- specifically, one called Delos. About the same
>time, I was having some problems with a guy that I was dating, who
>coincidentally I met off of this Bullitin Board. I would talk to Shawn
>about our problems on the phone, and he made me feel better, calling the
>guy a prick, and an asshole. I didn't realize it then, but I had provided
>him with enough info to find Terry (the guy I was dating) online. As it
>turns out, Terry broke up with me, much to my dismay, and decided to play
>the field... He started talking to some mysterious stranger online who
>wouldn't meet him, but started leaving roses, stuffed animals, and other
>things on his doorstep. I'm not a stupid guy, and I put two-and-two together.
>
>There was a HUGE three-way fight. I vowed never to speak to either Terry
>or Shawn again.
>
>A month or so later, a couple people who I didn't know started sending me
>messages saying that Shawn was lying about who he was. A friend of mine,
>Jason, seemingly ALSO fell into his trap. He called me up and asked if I
>knew anything about him because he had fallen in love with him, and had
>heard that he was lying about who he was.
>
>Jason came over to my house and we went over to Shawn's. A black guy
>answered his door, and said he wasn't home, yet his car was downstairs, and
>we'd just talked to him on the phone (although he didn't know I was on the
>line). Anyhow, we called him up and told him that his game was up.
>
>Eventually, he understood that I didn't give a fuck if he was black... But
>that his lying was just not tolerable to me. I was no longer interested in
>him (of course), for his Model Looks contributed a lot to my desire for him.
>
>Eventually, he ended up coming over to my house a couple of times to play
>with my computer online, and to talk. I told him he should stop lying on
>the computer, and that if he's going to send people a picture of himself,
>he should send them a picture of himself. So he submitted to a quickcam
>picture of himself. (Which I have on my home computer, and will send you
>tomorrow (as I don't have email privaleges from the University anymore (as
>a graduate)).
>
>I've since graduated, and lost contact with him. Until I saw his posting
>on your service and was infuriated. I sent him a nasty note, and since he
>provided you as a reference to his credibility, I felt that you should know
>the truth.
>
>In anycase, I've spent a half an hour recounting stuff that is better left
>in the past, and I've got to go to a meeting. Write back when you get this.
>
>-Shane
>
>PS: I would love to become a member of your service, and thanks for the
>offer! :)
>
>PPS: I hope he hasn't tugged at your heartstrings too much.
>
>He started dropping things off for me at my house... Doughnuts, a plate of
>brownies,

Shane,

I admit that I appreciate your comments, but they still leave me at a loss to put this matter to rest entirely. Shawn's sister has been phoning me lately, apparently he's disappeared and she's concerned about him, asking if I've heard from him lately -- which I haven't. It is clear that he is quite secretive about his identity, but that doesn't automatically mean that he is fake (as simple as that is to think) -- as I said, I can't say with certainty that he is or is not what he has made himself out to be -- all I have to base my conclusions on are second hand observations which unfortunately match my own.

*shrug*

I'm proceeding into this with care. My attraction to Shawn started over a year ago, around December of 1995. Since then we've had a casual atmosphere of e-mail conversation, and the bulk of it has been from me sending him long notes frequently. More recently he's taken a serious liking to me, which I've happily encouraged, until I started concerning myself with knowing him on a more solid basis other than words across a computer and voices on a telephone. Everything that you mention in your letter matches well with what I know of him, so I'm curious how valid it is to assume that he's fake when there is some apparent trend of consistency to what he says and does. There are some curious gaps in the private life of Shawn, which I'm eager to fill.

You say that "One day on campus, I saw him." Do you mean that you saw the same person who is in the photo on my web site (and the related photos which contain the same model-looking white guy?) Also, you mentioned that he "hung a bag on my front gate containing a photograph of himself (keep in mind... when I say "of himself", it's really of one of his friends). I was satisfied after receiving his photo that it really was him." Could you please describe this photo to me? I have received a photo by FedEx, and I'm curious if it is the same one given to you. Who was in this photo, where were they, what were they up to? Did the photo look recent, worn, or handled? What were the people wearing? Did you return it to him, or do you still have it? I'm very curious about this photo. It could be the key to explaining a lot, so I anticipate your recollection of it in detail, which I'm positive you will be able to do if your mind was as critical about him as mine is at the moment.

Also, I'm curious about this whole issue of his ethnicity. I have reason to believe that he is in fact white, and has been using a friend to stand-in as a front to keep him from meeting people that he wants to be hidden from. Could you describe the guy who answered the door the day you and Jason visited Shawn's apartment? (If you think I'm acting like a Sherlock Holmes, then you're quite correct ... although mysteries like this aren't a productive use of my time, I wish to fill in all the missing pieces so that I have the solid, definitive, answer to the situation when this is all over and done with.)

I'm interested in the QuickCam photograph. You say that he (the black guy who answered the door that day) spent time over at your house ... did you have an opportunity to check his identification card (drivers license or Student ID) to verify that the person was actually Shawn Kimble? Also, did you often have meaningful face-to-face conversations with him, or were they just easy going matter-of-fact in nature? Were his visits with you frequent, or was it a one-time thing? You said that you "sent him a nasty note" after seeing that he provided me as a reference to his credibility, did he reply to it, and if so, may I have a copy? I'm quite happy that you're interested in helping me know the truth, but I still think that there is more to be learned at the moment. =)

Finally, what can you tell me about this issue of his outstanding tuition bill and the HIV status? Are these anything that were of concern when you were communicating with him? Was anything similar to it ever mentioned or brought up? What was his basis of friendship with you -- just someone to talk to, or did he start to ask you to help him with things? During what time period were you in communication with him? What dates, approximately? When did you graduate, and what was his estimated graduation date and major? Do you know your blood type in case of an accident? Who is the current President of the United States? Do you know what day of the week this is?

Okay, I think that's enough for now. ~=)

If you wouldn't mind, just reply to this letter paragraph by paragraph, inserting your comments in between each one. I very much appreciate your time, and I'll keep you informed about what I determine. =) If there is an answer that will put all of this to rest, then you can be assured that I'll find it.

Thanks,

Nathan Johansen

p.s. I'm sending you a Cafe Registration form by separate e-mail. Please complete it and return it to me, and I'll establish your complimentary account at the site. :)

p.s.s. Although my emotions run deep and are amazingly passionate, I reserve them for instances when I wish to be emotional rather than logical -- I'm always aware of my emotional state, but will not act on them in lieu of my rational judgement. While I've had my share of major catastrophes regarding love and sex, I think I'm well shielded against too much depression as a result of an on-line fantasy relationship that never came to be. I shall forever relish the memories of the Shawn that I came to know and love despite my confusion about him, however, with any luck, I may also prove him to be a reality.

5:12 pm - Re: Welcome to The Cafe.

At 12:03 AM 2/24/97 -0500, you wrote:
>Nathan,
>
>You cannot assign the email address ---@--- to the individual in
>the attached email. That address is allocated to me.
>
>Thank you,
>
>Rob

Hi Rob,

It would appear that someone has supplied your e-mail address in their regitration form. Would you please take a moment to redirect the copy of the original "Welcome to The Cafe." message that you received and I'll deactivate the account? Without this, I fear that I'll be unable to trace it down accurately.

I apologize for the delay in responding to your message, e-mail has had a mind of its own of late. Thank you,

Nathan Johansen

5:12 pm - Re: You're Cute!

At 08:35 PM 2/23/97 -0500, you wrote:
>Let me know when you are going to be in p-town.
>
>I'm 5'8" 165 Black-Grey / Blue-Green. Said to look a little like George
>Cluney.
>
>Sail my Frers 38 from May 25 - Oct 15 (or so). Sail to P-town a few times
>during the summer, also to Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard and occasionally to
>Boston or Maine.
>
>Remember to E-Mail me.
>
>Guy

Hi Guy,

Could you describe your sailing craft in more detail? I admit that "Frers 38" means as much to me as "DEC Alpha 7000" does to you (unless, to my embarrassment, you do know!) I've never spent much time on a boat. Perhaps it's something that I should look forward to doing soon. :)

Thank you for the invitation to look you up when I travel eastward again. FYI: I'm 21, 5'11" 155# Blond hair, blue eyes, non-humble, clean facial complexion, straight white teeth, great smile, nice chest, muscles, and everything else that you would expect in a "Gay Poster Boy for the Year 2000." (Hey, at least I've got something to hope for!)

:)

Take care,

Nathan Johansen

5:12 pm - Re: (3/8) Nathan's Coming Out Letter

At 02:22 AM 2/22/97 +0000, you wrote:
>I'm 47- with two divorces behind me, and probably and absolutely gay.
>But there was a time when I would never have believed this. After
>going through this mandatory hetrosexual thintg for most of my life, I
>was lucky enough to be around when the plumbing contractors dug up the
>yard to put a new drain field in. I found a jar with black and white
>negatives in it. Incredibly, to me, they were pictures of myself when
>I was 14, where I had have my hair around my cock and balls, shoved a
>Coke bottle halfway into my ass, and basically was jerking off while I
>was taking pictures of myself. This was something which I had
>completely denied/forgotten about. But years later, with the
>archeologicaly find, I realized that I have always been gay, and just
>never was ableto admit it to myself. Your coming out letter is
>extremely cool, as I am sure you are, without the external evidence I
>needed to understand the way I've always felt. I've come to learn that
>being gay is simply nature's way of ensuring that the truly gifted are
>not to be burdened with children! Love, Richard. Thanks for your post.

Richard,

Your story is one of the most unique that I've ever received. Perhaps what is so interesting is the discovery of something that you created, and lost in your childhood, that resurfaces while you're an adult to stand as ostensive proof of the actual nature of your sexual pursuits and desires.

What have you done with the photos now?

While I can see some benefit in the automatic conclusion that gay people often don't have children, I am personally quite excited about the prospect. Although I'm unsure how to go about it, I would very much enjoy raising my kids. Not only do I anticipate being an excellent father, but I would also venture to say that they would turn out to be remarkable human beings. Did you read that researchers have recently cloned a sheep that is genetically identical to the adult whose cells it was duplicated from? I ponder what this will do to threaten the current status of heterosexuals being replaced as the homosexual method of reproduction. :)

Enjoy life, you've earned it. Take care, and thank you for the compliments on me and my letter. I'm happy that you liked it.

Nathan Johansen

5:48 pm - Re: uploading....

At 06:13 PM 2/25/97 +0000, you wrote:
>Nate,
>
>The upload's going on right now. I'm putting everything in
>/foerster/photos/ (in separate directories for each magazine, such as
>A153, D146, G025, etc.). I didn't want to start mucking around and
>making new directories; last time I tried that one someone else's
>server, I crashed the whole thing. (OK, I know it wasn't really
>something I did, but you know how supersticious we New Orleans voodoo
>people are.)
>
>There are eight new directories: with a total of almost 4MB of new stuff.
>
>Hope the new credit processing system works, and tell those fuckers you
>want your $17,000 back. Tell 'em I said so, dammit. And threaten to
>send Java to visit if that doesn't work.
>
>The Metrowerks people were very amused with her picture. They said
>she's their unofficial mascot. I was tempted to ask if there was any
>possibility of corporate sponsorship to pay for her food, but I figured
>the $10 rebate would be good enough for now. I'll wait until they start
>talking commercials, THEN hit 'em up for money.
>
>Congratulate your parents on their new company, and let me know if
>there's anything you need. By the way, how's the Shawn situation?
>
>jeff

Heya Jeff,

Thanks for uploading all that stuff. :) How is the data transfer there on the small 1.2 BIPS server?? I noticed that John is beefing up the "slow" one with some new processors ... each board can hold two processors, for some 5 BIPS of computing power a piece, and the server can hold six boards ... kinda makes you wonder what the hell it would take to occupy a machine that can perform some thirty billion instructions per second. As it is, we run at less than four one thousandths of capacity, so I question the sanity of implementing an immediate need for more power.

I hope that in a few days, I'll be able to coerce the credit card racket to let go of most of that cash. If they don't I'll ask you FedEx Java over there. What a concept, attack animals packaged in a standard FexEd box for overnight or same day delivery at reasonable rates. Humm, might be on to something there, but I think the business model has something flawed in it from a liability standpoint. Imagine a bunch of poisonous red ants for $39.95, or a deluxe pack of rabid rats for $87.50? What would the poor fellow who let loose of those in the office do!? "When you care enough to send the scary pests, call us at 1-800-GO-GET-EM and we'll Roach out to Bite someone!"

Okay, so demented humor aside. I'm still in the dark with Shawn. He's disappeared of late, and I haven't heard from him, although his sister has called me a few times. I seemed to have completely irked him after passing along an e-mail note that someone sent me propounding that he was a fake. This was a day after he FAXed me a copy of his Student ID, in which the photo was far to dark to make out much of anything besides that chin ... At least the name matched, but I just had to forward that note from the other fellow along. Wasn't the smartest thing I've done lately I suppose, almost like questioning why he would FedEx me a box of flowers when fresh ones can be delivered by calling my florist 24-hours a day ...

My parents and I had dinner at The Augusta last night. It's one of my favorite spots, located downtown in The Westin Hotel. I spent most of the day with my Dad, so I think that we were starting to get on each others' nerves by the time we arrived for supper and left the car with Gordon on the drive -- I suppose that any adult can only put up with so much 21-year-old supervision before losing it. Needless to say, he acted like a child during dinner. I was ashamed to have my staff (humble, aren't I?) prepare my private dining table in the glass enclosed room off in the corner that overlooks the city. Hummph. You just can't take some people out -- fortunately, my Mom was on her best behavior, and I was quite proud that she attempted to give Tiffany's Table Manners some justice. I found a wonderful new Merlot -- 1994 Columbia Valley "Columbia Crest" which is simply excellent and affordable at around $20 a bottle. It now replaces the 1988 Fetzer Eagle Peak "Barrel Select" Merlot as my low-cost red wine of choice. I think that I may have dinner with John tonight, so perhaps he'll allow me the privilege of taking out another $350 bottle (wholesale cost in 1990 dollars) of Rothschild Bordeaux with him again! You should see his wine collection (swoon).

Nate

5:48 pm - Re: Leather Homoerotica of the Christian Right

Who is Pat Boone and where can I get a neck collar like that? I think that Jeff might find use for it if Rachel ever takes him out to the S&M balls during Mardi Gras again. ;)

Nathan 

5:58 pm - Re: Merchant Success

At 05:55 PM 2/25/97 -0700, you wrote:
> Hi Nathan,
>
> I have a script ready to change text. Heavens! -there are over 4000
>files ending in .html with International Cafe, Inc. in them! (this does
>include unused dev pages, however, but we might as well run those
>through, too.)
>
> Now, sorry, would you mind reviewing which files get that changed to "Villa
>Adriana"? It's mail receipts, right? The Organization field, and
>anywhere else in those files? Let's see, the templates that go into all
>the rcpt files, too? Once we change everything to "Villa Adriana" that we
>need, we can run through and change all the others to "The Gay Cafe".
>
> Is that "Villa Adriana, Inc." or "Villa Adriana"?
>
> Thanks,
>
> Ann

Hi Ann,

Perhaps you could run your script and have it exclude the sub-directories in wwwdocs and www2docs:

/reg
/renew
/treasury

As everything but what's in these directories needs to be replaced with the new text of "The Gay Cafe" instead of "International Cafe, Inc."

In the reg directory, there is an instance of the merchant name "INTERNATIONAL CAFE of WESTIMINSTER, COLORADO" that will need to be changed, as well as at the bottom of the page is the standard "International Cafe, Inc." plug. The same goes for the renew and treasury directories, so perhpas it would be best if I changed these three dirs myslef. The mail scripts will need to have my name in the "Organization" field, and replace the "International Cafe" with the new name. I'm wading through e-mail from the past six days at the moment, so I'll look at those files in a bit if you'd like to proceed with the renaming of all the other files except for the ones in those three directories. I'll toy with these.

I haven't heard from John, so I'll still plan on going back to the computer room in a while. I don't want to change the text in those three directories until I'm confident that the new merchant account is in place (don't want to give people the wrong information.) Perhaps a good strategy would be to add a prefix of new. to each of the files that I update, so that it's just a renaming process when the thing switches over ... yea, I think I'll do that. :) I'll get the three dirs if you take care of the other 4,000.

Thank you,

Nathan

6:09 pm - Re: Logging onto Cafe

At 01:15 PM 2/23/97 -0500, you wrote:
>I am getting a server error prompt when trying to log onto the cafe. ID
>number 1140051.

The error is now corrected. Please revisit the site and try again. :)

Thank you for taking a moment to write,

Nathan Johansen

6:09 pm - Cafe Registration Form

Hi Matt,

Thanks for calling. Here is a simple form is a guideline for all the information that I need to be create your account at The Cafe. Go ahead and fill it out, then drop me a check in the mail, and I'll create your account when you get this form back to me later tonight. :)

Take Care,

Nathan Johansen

6:20 pm - Re: Update from Nathan

At 12:10 PM 2/23/97 -0600, you wrote:
>Dear Nathan,
>
>Everything fine here in Leavenworth--nothing (ever) new happens here.
>
>I must say that the news that Shawn and Christian is the same person did
>not surprise me. I believe that you had that "gut" feeling as well.
>Which still does not excuse him from feeding you buch of lies. Only
>spies are excused from telling the truth. Perhaps my view on the issues
>of "truth" and "lies" is too harsh for some but I don't believe that
>anyone can make a progress in anything without being genuine in actions
>and words. I live by this principal and expect others to be just as
>genuine. This particularly applies to people who entered the "slippery
>area" of finances, or to be more exact, other people's finances. Why is
>he pissed? How about maturing just a bit, huh? He is playing out a
>drama that is just not there. This is real life, not a theatre stage.
>Perhaps he can change, and both of you could benefit from such change.
>Otherwise it is very difficult to trust such people. Being HIV positive
>does not turn one into a martyr. It may turn one into a case that
>requires therapy for many reasons and I do understand this. Living with
>a death sentence is not, and cannot be easy.
>So, is he a student, who is he?
>Ok, don't want to come through as a preacher...
>
>Re. Badpuppy.com: I would be interested in seeing all their images.
>Maybe I would recognize some of our copyrighted images (I have
>copyrights to over 550 male adult images) that were always very popular
>on the net (lacage.com, fotodfw.com and other). Are the images that you
>mention in your letter your original images? I will tell you what to do
>if the answer is "yes." I believe that people eventually discover that
>they are paying for something that is available for free somewhere
>else. Usually later then soon, but they do. Gay Cafe has this nice
>felling of professionalism and is very genuine--people lern to
>appreciate these qualities. From what I know, badpuppy (Bill Rivers,
>right?) is not doing that great... Not quoting the source of their news
>feed takes away any credibility of their "news." Badpuppy is not a name
>for itself that people know and associate with news like CNN, AP, Rex
>Wockner.... We know that he does not have reporters around the world
>working for him. Therefore, the news must come from other agencies.
>For badpuupy not quoting the source of news is as good as not having a
>news section at all. That's why we (gayplace.com) quote the source of
>every news item. If not specified, then all news items are attributed
>to rex Wockner, who is nationally recognized and accredited by
>Associated Press.
>You don't want to operate your own news section--it is the biggest pain
>in the ass! And the most expensive section of the entire magazine.
>"Updates" mean completely redoing these pages over and over again. In
>addition, we pay for the credible news feed.
>
>About your feeling of being ignored. Nathan, this is business--put your
>feeling in your pocket. I go through the same ordeal. Just make a
>clear division between personal and professional. Bill Riverses of thos
>world will not win. He is a very insignifact figure in this arena.
>Definitely not worth mentioning.
>"Be flexible"--I hate this term (heard it probably 10,000 times when in
>the Army...)--but true. If one thing doesn't work--immeditely switch
>the strategy. You just say, well, this was a flop, let's try something
>else. Market is not easy, there is plenty of competition. We just
>must communicate to potential clients that we are better than our
>competiton and that is not an easy task.
>
>Ilike cooperating. I am already doing this with several
>"competitors"--referrals, etc. We can do the same thing--give me some
>ideas. Thanks for the server offer but I/we have our own servers with
>over 150 web sites on them. We run 8 web servers right now on DS3 with
>direct to the Internet backbone. I will have some ideas for us--we can
>actually start working together on some projects.
>
>We've got the "youth pages"--http://gayplace.com/safezone/ Check it
>out. Let me know if you have any ideas for them--they need help. We
>are hosting them (including total assistance in graphicdesign, layout,
>etc.) for free.
>
>Also, check out http://fotodfw.com/ Requires adultcheck ID. If you
>don't have one, please use mine (DO NOT PROPAGATE, PLEEEAAASE):
>See if you see any images that badpuppy is featuring. Same with
>http://lacage.com/
>BTW, you can see me on FotoDFW's site... :)
>
>Hey, cheer up!
>Talk to you later,
>Martin

Hi Martin,

My e-mail has been screwed, so I apologize that I didn't get your message sooner. I notice however that you were overly rapid with your reply, so thank you.

I agree that Shawn could use some maturity, but then again, I suppose that some people are just delicate when it comes to their emotions. *shrug* There have been some interesting developments of late, but I should point out that I haven't heard from him in a few days.

The photos at Badpuppy are the property of one of my photographers that exclusively licenses his material to Hadrian's Villa. I've calmed down quite a bit over this little event, so my shorts are no longer in a knot -- I have to accept that no matter what pains I take to protect my work and the work of the people who I partner with, there will always be some scumbag to steal it.

On the topic of news, (taking into account how you're more than suited from a network connectivity standpoint) would you be receptive to letting me archive "issues" of Gay Place at The Gay Cafe in a similar way that I provide free access to the Nifty Erotic Story Archive? I think that it would be a neat way of adding some additional content to my site, while performing a good archival system for all the hard work that goes into your news site. Hell, perhaps a mirror site may be possible ... I suppose the only concern is making sure that the line between Gay Place and Gay Cafe isn't blurred to the user. It isn't as ambitious as what Badpuppy is up to (scrounging "current" content from where ever they find it) but I do think that it would be a valuable thing to maintain.

"Blessed are the flexible for they shall never be bent out of shape!"

My compliments to Thomas on the "SafeZone" site at Gay Place. I think it will be a fantastic resource. I've been playing with the idea of putting together an interactive Coming Out guide for people to use. I'll explain it in more detail some time, but it would essentially be a method of letting people identify where they are at in the process, and sharing their experiences with other people along the way, sort of like a system of field notes for those interested. The structure would let them browse the entire length of "Coming Out" to perhaps better prepare them for some of the excitement and pitfalls that we all encounter.

Talk to you again soon,

Nathan

6:21 pm - Okay to Visit?

Hi John,

Please send me a signal when you're back at the computer room so that I can come fidget with the changes to ICVerify.

Nathan

7:18 pm - Re: Your personal ad for "Wpolo"

Shane,

At 05:20 PM 2/25/97 -0800, you wrote:
>Nathan -- Here is your reply... (By the way -- that is what I call a
>letter. It must have taken you hours).

It took about thirty minutes, including my spell checking and content proofing.

>I know that you more than want to believe everything that Shawn has told
>you about himself, as I was once in the same boat. Here's the bottom line:
>His name *is* Shawn Kimble -- he claims that he was adopted by the family
>that owns the south coast plaza. I know he is fake because I talked to him
>for about 8 months while he maintained that he was a blonde haired, blue
>eyed, adonis of a white guy, And in actuality he is *NOT* -- for I unlike
>most people online, got to the bottom of his lies, and stripped him down to
>the truth -- And once I did, he had little reaspm left not to meet me.
>(More about our meeting later...)

Something's screwy still. He's so consistent. Who is the family that owns the South Coast Plaza? Segerstrom or something?

>It seems that Shawn started talking to you about the time that I began
>searching for the truth -- December of 95 -- I started talking to him about
>3 or 4 months before that.

It would seem so. Funnily enough, his introduction to me was, "Are you the Nathan that knows Shane?" At the time, I was communicating with a turd from New Zealand, who I assumed to be the same Shane as he didn't have many nice things to say about the person ... perhaps (ironic isn't it?) YOU were the Shane that he was referring you, and you may be able to tell me about a Nathan that you were in contact with at the time. I'm somewhat convinced that this isn't the case, as he positively identified me as "The Gay Cafe Guy" at the time, so I doubt that there could be much confusion, unless YOU are the same Shane from New Zealand that I was talking to ... :p

>When I said "one day on campus I saw him," I meant that saw the person in
>the photo (not the real Shawn Kimble). I had the pleasure of seeing the
>guy in the photo on more than one occation, actually. Once, the blonde
>adonis rode past me on his bike as I was heading home from campus...
>Another time I saw him as I was leaving a cinema class; another time while
>he was walking with his girlfriend; and yet another at a restaurant in
>Hollywood (This sighting was particularly important to my detective work,
>actually). On all of these occations I called "Shawn" aloud, or made some
>kind of eye contact, but no recogition dawned in the guy's eyes, and he
>didn't seem to know me -- and either his name wasn't Shawn or he was
>ignoring me. The time at the restaurant when I saw blonde-boy, I was
>exiting the restroom as he entered it. I was stunned, and I loitered on a
>pay phone until he came out. Having studied all of the pictures on my
>computer on many occations, I was certain it was the same guy. When he
>walked out, he seemed put off that I was staring at him, and he joined his
>girlfriend (who was the same girl as in one of the pictures he had sent
>me). Immediately I picked up the phone and called to leave a message on
>Shawn's machine -- and was practically floored when he answered the phone.

Again, curious. This supports the idea that who ever these "two" people are, they must be friends with one another given the wealth of information and photos that one has of the other. I would enjoy a description of the black Shawn Kimble as you remember him. It is quite possible that this person is impersonating one of his friends, who may share living space with him, but I question how long this would go on before the other one discovered it. I think that we're being fooled into thinking that Shawn Kimble is really someone other than who is in the photos ... or even, consider this ... Shawn Kimble is the black guy, who is being used as a front for Christian Segerstrom to search for guys to date while still hiding his sexuality from everyone in his immediate life.

>There are several photos he sent me via email attachment -- however the one
>that he dropped off in a bag on my front stoop was a picture of the blonde
>guy with (presumably) two of his fraternity brothers. I think they had
>their arms around each-other's necks (although it's been over a year since
>I've seen it), One guy is wearing a red sweatshirt, and I think that all of
>them are holding beer bottles. The photo was still in the frame when he
>dropped it off, and it appeared to have suffered some water damage. (As
>for the beer bottle -- Prior to having seen this photo, Shawn swore to me
>he that he does not drink; I grilled him about the photo, because the guy
>who he said he was was holding a beer bottle). Much later, when I finally
>discovered the truth, he drove a female friend over to my house and sent
>her to my door to pick up the photograph.

I have seen the photo with the beer bottle and two friends, and wondered the same thing about the drinking. A dichotomy ... the person in the photos seems like a party boy, yet here is a statement that he doesn't approve of liquor (which I remember vividly from our conversations) ... The photo being in the frame when it was delivered indicates that it could have been taken from someone else's things and then replaced later without them knowing -- there is an obvious ease of accessibility to the private holdings of blonde-boy, and I wonder how often he doesn't notice that some of his things are missing ...

>Other pictures he sent via Email were: A skinny version of blonde boy
>sitting by himself on a couch against a blue wall (presumably his
>fraternity), A close up snapshot of him and his "girlfriend" Jen, where his
>hair is curly and he seems to have a lot of freckles, the one where he
>looks like he is posing for GQ magazine (in a coat and tie) with straight
>hair, and finally the one with his shirt off (color tinted some shade of
>orange).

I haven't seen the one with the blue wall, nor the close up snapshot with Jen. I have seen one GQ one with straight hair (most recently in the January 1997 Edition as an Armani Model on page 26 or so, he's on a couch preparing to pet a wrinkled dog.) And I have the orange shaded torso shot as my desktop wallpaper.

>Buddy boy, Shawn is black. I told you I talked to him for month upon month
>on the phone before I actually met him. There is no stand in. A black guy
>named Shawn Kimble stood in my apartment and had the same voice that I'd
>been speaking to for months.

If so, then Shawn is successfully able to pass himself off as someone else who he lives with or around that he admires very much (secretly). I'm curious about these phone calls from Shawn's sister recently. That's unusual, given that she told me she read his e-mail while he was away, and assailed me with the question, "You think he's black?? He's as white as white can be." Or something similar to that. I didn't say much as I wasn't sure who I was talking to. She is genuine in her concern, and I doubt that she would to continue to phone me asking what I knew if she was an agent sent to brain wash me -- were the latter the case I could expect to have my ear talked off with convincing statements from someone who "knows" Shawn. As it is, I suspect that she assumes I already know Shawn and pal around with him, as she was somewhat confused when I asked for her phone number and wasn't sure of what area code that was in, it was as if I should know the phone number and area code if I was a friend of Shawn.

>I didn't need to check his ID. While he was at my house we spoke of things
>that only "WPOLO" would know. Shawn is the guy in the picture. He only
>came over to the house I was living in two or three times, and our
>conversations weren't very deep, but instead were somewhat awkward. He's
>not yet responded, and if he does, I will copy you on it.

QuickCam photo ... description of this person ... I have something to compare it to, that's why I'm wondering about him.

>I have no clue about his tuition bill, nor his HIV status. When I spoke to
>him, he said he donated his time on the weekend working for the gay and
>lesbian center counseling kids (scary thought now) -- And he said that he
>would often to go bathrooms and parks to meet up with random guys for
>sex... so anything is possible.

I understand that he volunteers his time to the Orange County Children's Home, as well as the AIDS Health Care Foundation. Perhaps you could mention his name at these two spots and see what sort of response you get. Just ask, "Is Shawn Kimble there, he said that I could reach him here."

>We talked to eachother often: Our comunication began sometime around
>september of 95, and ended when I graduated in May of 96. Shawn was always
>needy of advice. I think he said he was a business major (although I don't
>remember that for certain)... It wasn't much of a conversation piece for
>us when we talked. I'm not too sure what my blood type is, although I
>think it is AB-; the President of the United states is Bill Clinton, and
>today is Tuesday (and very close to the time that I can leave work, thank
>god).

I was being a smart ass with those last few questions, silly. Ninety six wasn't that long ago ... humm. Okay. Now, is it the AB- people that can give to everyone else, but can only receive their own?? I forget.

>There is an answer, Nathan -- and I hope that I've shed enough light for
>you to end your detective work and just forget about him as I have. He's
>nothing more than an individual who is in sore need of some major
>psychological counseling.

I won't forget about him until I've validated this stuff with my own senses. :) That's what jet airplanes and credit cards are for. :) Someone exists out there, and I'm determined to find out who. If he's impersonating someone else, then I want the "someone else" to know about it. If he's real and is using someone else to impersonate him, then I'll get him over it. Coming out is a challenge for all of us, and I don't know of anyone who enjoys doing it alone while faking large chunks of reality in the process.

>Take all I've told you to heart and think about it.

Have done, will do more of later. :) Thank you ever so much.

>Sincerely,
>Shane
>
>Thanks again -- Although I didn't ask, it's cool of you to offer this to
>me. Does this give me all the time I want on the phone sex chat line too? :)

Well, no, but you can look at lots of the photos. I gave you a three year membership. Enjoy.

>The Shawn that you came to know is a Fantasy inspired by two people: Him
>for starting it, you for buying it. I've been there before, and I hope
>that you do eventually understand that I've told you the truth; and that
>you learn that the Shawn you now want to believe in does NOT exist. It
>would have been nice if he had existed for both of us; but he doesn't.

"A secret is a secret until you tell someone. A fantasy remains a fantasy until you realize it. My only secret is my fantasy and if I tell you then I have nothing." Perhaps that is a packaged answer of what's happening here, specific details omitted, of course. =) I am quite certain that you are telling me the facts exactly as they happened, and what's amusing is that they fit perfectly to the story that I've got in my mind.

Nathan

7:18 pm - Re: about your offer

At 05:47 PM 2/25/97 -0800, you wrote:
>Nathan:
>
>>Perhaps the next time I'm in California (somewhat frequently, actually) I'll
>>take a day to come to San Francisco and introduce myself in person. :)
>
>I would very much enjoy meeting you during your next visit to San
>Francisco. Just call or email first and I can clear some time to see you.
>
>Bye for now,
>
>Keith
>
>http://www.cruisingforsex.com

Thanks Keith. :)

Nathan

7:18 pm - Mr. Humility and I ...

At 07:52 PM 2/25/97 +0000, you wrote:
>Hey now, I have my OWN collar, thank you! (And if you really want one
>of your own, I'll be more than happy to pick one up for you.) And it
>WASN'T an S&M ball, I just had all the S&M freaks pick on me.
>
>I was wrong about the 4MB of files. It looks like it's somewhere closer
>to 20MB; the first directory alone was 4MB. As far as tranfer rates go,
>it's pretty speedy. It's not ethernet, mind you, but it's going between
>2.2 and 2.6K/sec. Don't ask me what that is in bauds; I don't wanna get
>into all the fun conversions.
>
>Sorry about the Shawn thing. If you ask me (granted, you didn't, but
>what the hell?), the whole thing smells incredibly fishy. You've done a
>lot for him with no questions asked. There's nothing wrong with
>protecting yourself and making sure that the person you have feelings
>for really exists and is being honest with you. You're a great guy and
>most people would love to latch on to someone like you. Unfortunately,
>not all of those people deserve you or are even worth your time. Shawn
>may or may not be real. But he's done enough and you've heard enough to
>have serious questions about him. The least he can do is provide honest
>answers to those questions. And don't think for a second that it was an
>accident that the faxed student ID was too dark. You've given him and
>done all you can be expected to do to prove you're "for real"; now it's
>his turn. Make him earn you -- you're worth it.
>
>(God, and a month ago I was lecturing you about humility and here I am
>stroking your ego like it was a purring cat.)
>
>Anyway, the upload continues. I'll let you know when it's done.
>
>jeff

Mr. Humility and I have agreed that, because of my actions, I can no longer enjoy the privilege of his company in my life.

Listen, the day *I* wear a collar is the day Fred Phelps decides to go on Larry King Live and "out" himself as a repressed god-fearing homosexual. How long have you been in service, again??

Thank you for the comments on Shawn -- I'm happy that you're awarding me the latitude to let this relationship swing either way ... as you know, I've got sufficient reason to believe either condition, but that's an unacceptable substitute for tangible proof, which you know I thrive on when validating an important premise.

2.6Kbps? Wow, that's a pretty decent transfer rate over a Bell South dial-up. :p "A finished upload is nothing more than a download waiting to come."

I'm off to the computer room now to install the new ballistic missile codes.

Nathan

10:07 pm - Re: Your personal ad for "Wpolo"

Could you resend your last two messages? I accidently deleted them ... :)

Nathan

10:07 pm - Resend

Heya Jeff,

Could you re-send that last message? I accidently deleted it.

Nathan

10:11 pm - Re-send Mail.

Ann,

Would you please take a moment and redirect any Registration, Renewal, or Token mail that has been delivered in the past two days to my nathan@npj.com address?

I think that you get copies of these, and I haven't been receiving them lately.

Thank you.

Nate

10:13 pm - Re: [Fwd: [Fwd: [Fwd: Watch your kidneys!!!]]]

At 11:23 PM 2/25/97 -0600, you wrote:
>Is this what you were talking about?
>Subject: [Fwd: [Fwd: Watch your kidneys!!!]]
>
>Nate,
>
>A friend of mine in DC just forwarded this to me. I'm beginning to
>wonder if this isn't something along the lines of the "Good Times" virus
>hoax or the Richard Gere/Gerbil myth. I guess there's something to be
>said for the strength of contemporary mythology -- no one can really
>prove it, but everyone accepts it as true.

Yes, thanks. :) "Death to PINE!"

Nathan

10:28 pm - Re: mission accomplished

At 11:26 PM 2/25/97 -0600, you wrote:
>Upload's finished. I'm going to bed.
>
>Love and kisses,
>jeff

Ewewewew! *wipe wipe *wipe* :) *cover-up it's cold* (hug)

Night, sweets.

Nathan

10:32 pm - Receipt for 100 Cafe Coins

Hi Clayton,

Just wanted to make a correction ... the merchant name "VILLA ADRIANA" will appear on your credit card statement for the $25.00 charge, not International Cafe, Inc. :)

Sorry for the confusion, I'm trying to get everything switched over to a different merchant account tonight. :)

Nathan Johansen

CLICK HERE
to continue.

Last updated: 4:29 MST 3/1/97
Nathan Johansen - nathan@npj.com